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"Avast!" – Loud Confidence, Maritime Nonsense
Behold the Avast! tee — the official uniform of someone who bursts into a situation yelling orders they cannot follow up on. Is there danger? A plan? A ship? Irrelevant. The important thing is the volume and the commitment.
This shirt is ideal for issuing unnecessary warnings, pointing dramatically at the horizon (or the fridge), and asserting authority you absolutely did not earn. Crafted from fabric more seaworthy than your leadership skills, it’s perfect for landlubbers with pirate energy and zero navigational ability.
Wear it when chaos is imminent, responsibility is optional, and you’re prepared to abandon ship at the first sign of consequences.
Avast!
All hands on deck. Nobody knows why.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Avast!
$18.50
Behold the Avast! tee — the official uniform of someone who bursts into a situation yelling orders they cannot follow up on. Is there danger? A plan? A ship? Irrelevant. The important thing is the volume and the commitment.
This shirt is ideal for issuing unnecessary warnings, pointing dramatically at the horizon (or the fridge), and asserting authority you absolutely did not earn. Crafted from fabric more seaworthy than your leadership skills, it’s perfect for landlubbers with pirate energy and zero navigational ability.
Wear it when chaos is imminent, responsibility is optional, and you’re prepared to abandon ship at the first sign of consequences.
Avast!
All hands on deck. Nobody knows why.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Size guide
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | CHEST (cm) | |
| XS | 68.6 | 42 | 78.7-86.4 |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 86.4-94 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 96.5-104.1 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 106.7-114.3 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 127-134.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL | 86.4 | 76.2 | 147.3-155 |
| 5XL | 89 | 78.7 | 157.5-165 |